I have been in Swazi for 3 weeks now- WHAT?! I can't believe that in one short week I will be hopping on a plane and heading back home. My time here has been absolutely incredible and the relationships I have made make leaving that much harder. Throughout this trip there have been times that I have been homesick and really missing people back home, but now as my time is coming to an end here in Swazi, I think about everyone here and how I am going to miss them dearly. As I prepare for my transition back home, there are a few things I'm nervous about:
1. My progress with the Lord:
Being here in Swazi, I have grown in my faith immensely and I'm nervous that I will lose all of the progress I have made. Before coming on this trip, I wasn't exactly sure where I was with my faith. I knew I believed in the Lord, but I never actively pursued a relationship with Him. Being surrounded by His word every day and really learning about Him made it clear to me that I want and need Him in my life. It is so easy to get caught up with life that God kind of gets put on the back burner.
2. How this experience and my new relationship with God will play into my relationships with friends and family:
As I said before, there have been times here that I miss home so much, but now the thought of leaving here outweighs my desire to be home (*family/friends don't take offense to that*). I'm afraid that people won't understand my experience. As I tell my loved ones about my time here, they can act interested in what the last month of my life has been like, but they won't really get it--no one can fully understand unless they have done it themselves. I'm also nervous for how my new-found relationship with the Lord will effect my current relationships with people, especially those who aren't religious. I have grown so much in the last month and I'm afraid that people who don't know the Lord won't understand where I am with my faith--that it will create distance and separation that wasn't there before. For friends and family, as I prepare for my journey home, just remember that my emotions will be all over that place and sometimes I might need to be alone to process everything that has happened this past month--and that's OK!
With that being said, I can't wait to share my experiences with everyone. This past month has been a life-changing experience and I wouldn't have changed anything.
Saturday, July 11, 2015
Saturday, July 4, 2015
Vulnerability Breeds Intimacy
I've been in this beautiful country for 2 weeks and I've learned so much about myself and the Lord in this short time that I've been here.
On Monday night, two of my teammates, Rachel and Sarah, shared their testimonies. Holy powerful! The saying " Never judge a book by its cover" has never been truer!
I grew up in a Catholic home, went to a catholic school up until 8th grade, and would occasionally go to church. Throughout high school some of my friends tried to start a bible study, which I was a part of, but life got busy and it never really grew. I had this view of a Christian as someone who never broke rules, lived a pure life, and never made mistakes-boy was I wrong!
Hearing their testimonies and seeing that they did fall down and made mistakes many times helped me realize God was still loving and forgiving. We are his children and nothing can change that.
This past week I've been struggling with fully committing myself to the Lord and I couldn't figure out why. Recently having a talk with my team, I realized I'm scared of fully trusting and listening to His word and what He tells me. Doing God's word isn't always easy and sometimes we have to sacrifice things that we don't want to and we don't understand why God is asking us to do certain things, but He knows the bigger picture. He has a plan for us that is so much bigger then we can imagine and that's hard for me to grasp.
I'm trying to focus on my relationship with Him and building a trusting and loving foundation.
Opening up and sharing is really hard for me, but I've realized that being vulnerable will allow me to grow closer with God, my team, and the people I love. I'm slowly working on it and it is something that will definitely take time, but I'm happy with my progress!
Also this week there have been many TIA ( This is Africa) moments:
1. Monkeys stealing our bread- that was a sight!
2. Waiting 45 minutes for a cop to show up after our car accident ( everyone is fine, the car not so much) while at least 4 drove by and weren't even phased.
3. Experiencing a 3 hour church service- It went by quicker then expected and I really enjoyed their music!
4. Plans- this week plans have not gone accordingly! We've been running on Swazi time, which really means whatever time you feel like it. We were late to church and bible study and without a car it's really hard to stick to our plans, but we are making the best of it!
Already in this short time I have grown so much and I can't wait to see what else He has in store for me!
I hope all of you have a wonderful and safe 4th of July!
On Monday night, two of my teammates, Rachel and Sarah, shared their testimonies. Holy powerful! The saying " Never judge a book by its cover" has never been truer!
I grew up in a Catholic home, went to a catholic school up until 8th grade, and would occasionally go to church. Throughout high school some of my friends tried to start a bible study, which I was a part of, but life got busy and it never really grew. I had this view of a Christian as someone who never broke rules, lived a pure life, and never made mistakes-boy was I wrong!
Hearing their testimonies and seeing that they did fall down and made mistakes many times helped me realize God was still loving and forgiving. We are his children and nothing can change that.
This past week I've been struggling with fully committing myself to the Lord and I couldn't figure out why. Recently having a talk with my team, I realized I'm scared of fully trusting and listening to His word and what He tells me. Doing God's word isn't always easy and sometimes we have to sacrifice things that we don't want to and we don't understand why God is asking us to do certain things, but He knows the bigger picture. He has a plan for us that is so much bigger then we can imagine and that's hard for me to grasp.
I'm trying to focus on my relationship with Him and building a trusting and loving foundation.
Opening up and sharing is really hard for me, but I've realized that being vulnerable will allow me to grow closer with God, my team, and the people I love. I'm slowly working on it and it is something that will definitely take time, but I'm happy with my progress!
Also this week there have been many TIA ( This is Africa) moments:
1. Monkeys stealing our bread- that was a sight!
2. Waiting 45 minutes for a cop to show up after our car accident ( everyone is fine, the car not so much) while at least 4 drove by and weren't even phased.
3. Experiencing a 3 hour church service- It went by quicker then expected and I really enjoyed their music!
4. Plans- this week plans have not gone accordingly! We've been running on Swazi time, which really means whatever time you feel like it. We were late to church and bible study and without a car it's really hard to stick to our plans, but we are making the best of it!
Already in this short time I have grown so much and I can't wait to see what else He has in store for me!
I hope all of you have a wonderful and safe 4th of July!
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