Torn

I have been in Swazi for 3 weeks now- WHAT?! I can't believe that in one short week I will be hopping on a plane and heading back home. My time here has been absolutely incredible and the relationships I have made make leaving that much harder. Throughout this trip there have been times that I have been homesick and really missing people back home, but now as my time is coming to an end here in Swazi, I think about everyone here and how I am going to miss them dearly. As I prepare for my transition back home, there are a few things I'm nervous about:

1. My progress with the Lord:
Being here in Swazi, I have grown in my faith immensely and I'm nervous that I will lose all of the progress I have made. Before coming on this trip, I wasn't exactly sure where I was with my faith. I knew I believed in the Lord, but I never actively pursued a relationship with Him. Being surrounded by His word every day and really learning about Him made it clear to me that I want and need Him in my life. It is so easy to get caught up with life that God kind of gets put on the back burner.

2. How this experience and my new relationship with God will play into my relationships with friends and family:
As I said before, there have been times here that I miss home so much, but now the thought of leaving here outweighs my desire to be home (*family/friends don't take offense to that*). I'm afraid that people won't understand my experience. As I tell my loved ones about my time here, they can act interested in what the last month of my life has been like, but they won't really get it--no one can fully understand unless they have done it themselves. I'm also nervous for how my new-found relationship with the Lord will effect my current relationships with people, especially those who aren't religious. I have grown so much in the last month and I'm afraid that people who don't know the Lord won't understand where I am with my faith--that it will create distance and separation that wasn't there before. For friends and family, as I prepare for my journey home, just remember that my emotions will be all over that place and sometimes I might need to be alone to process everything that has happened this past month--and that's OK!

With that being said, I can't wait to share my experiences with everyone. This past month has been a life-changing experience and I wouldn't have changed anything.

Vulnerability Breeds Intimacy

I've been in this beautiful country for 2 weeks and I've learned so much about myself and the Lord in this short time that I've been here.

On Monday night, two of my teammates, Rachel and Sarah, shared their testimonies.  Holy powerful! The saying " Never judge a book by its cover" has never been truer!

I grew up in a Catholic home, went to a catholic school up until 8th grade, and would occasionally go to church. Throughout high school some of my friends tried to start a bible study, which I was a part of, but life got busy and it never really grew. I had this view of a Christian as someone who never broke rules, lived a pure life, and never made mistakes-boy was I wrong!

Hearing their testimonies and seeing that they did fall down and made mistakes many times helped me realize God was still loving and forgiving. We are his children and nothing can change that.

This past week I've been struggling with fully committing myself to the Lord and I couldn't figure out why. Recently having a talk with my team, I realized I'm scared of fully trusting and listening to His word and what He tells me. Doing God's word isn't always easy and sometimes we have to sacrifice things that we don't want to and we don't understand why God is asking us to do certain things, but He knows the bigger picture. He has a plan for us that is so much bigger then we can imagine and that's hard for me to grasp.

I'm trying to focus on my relationship with Him and building a trusting and loving foundation.

Opening up and sharing is really hard for me, but I've realized that being vulnerable will allow me to grow closer with God, my team, and the people I love. I'm slowly working on it and it is something that will definitely take time, but I'm happy with my progress!

Also this week there have been many TIA ( This is Africa)  moments:

1. Monkeys stealing our bread- that was a sight!

2. Waiting 45 minutes for a cop to show up after our car accident ( everyone is fine, the car not so much) while at least 4 drove by and weren't even phased.

3. Experiencing a 3 hour church service- It went by quicker then expected and I really enjoyed their music!

4. Plans- this week plans have not gone accordingly! We've been running on Swazi time, which really means whatever time you feel like it. We were late to church and bible study and without a car it's really hard to stick to our plans, but we are making the best of it!

Already in this short time I have grown so much and I can't wait to see what else He has in store for me!

I hope all of you have a wonderful and safe 4th of July!

Stretched

My first week in Swaziland after my crazy adventure in Georgia has been amazing and eye opening! Here is a rundown of what our typical schedule is like:

Monday: Hope House ( sort of like an African hospice where we pray with the residents) and girls home ( we tutor and hang out with them and do bible study)

Tuesday: Workshop ( women who are struggling come to our house and make purses and bracelets to have extra money) and girls home.

Wednesday: Hope House or Psychiatric Ward of the hospital and girls home

Thursday: Workshop and girls home

Friday: Mangwaneni ( walk to a little city to do bible study with the people)/ care point ( love on children) and girls home

Saturday : Fun team activity, this week is the Waterfall and cultural dance ceremony

Sunday: Church and girls home

We typcially wake up around 8 and go to bed around 12 or 1. As you can see we spend most of our time at the girls home. We also go on prayer walks and grocery shopping and do random little things- we walk every where, which I really enjoy! Swazi's are very go with the flow..and time tends to be a sort of foreign concept.

My favorite place to be is absolutely the girls home! I love seeing all of the girls, helping them study, and just loving on them. These girls have been through so many struggles, but are still full of life- it's absolutely amazing! And their thirst for knowledge is INCREDIBLE! The majority of the students in America take education for granted and don't really give two cents about it, but these girls are always wanting to study or do a worksheet or improve in some way and it is really amazing to see.

Ministry this week has been tough and I have been definetly stretched this week. I've never been on a mission trip before, but I knew that signing up for this involved ministering, which I'm totally fine with, I just didn't  realize how much their would be. I love talking to people and hearing their stories because that helps me grow in my faith, but the problem is I'm kind of confused about where I am in my faith. As a team we do devotional studies every night ts,king about the Lord and all of His different names. Their are certain things that I don't understand like why some people, even if you pray die of cancer or people just die unexpectedly. The last two days we have been studying El Elyon ,which means the Sovereign One and it explained that the Lord is a just God and he has a plan for all of us even if we don't see it right away. That He is not the one that brings evil into this world, rather Satan and if the Lord stopped one bad thing from happening he would have to stop everything. Doing devos with my team and building a relationship with them is helping me to understand and become more comfortable with ministering. I need to remember to follow God's plan and trust in Him that He knows best for me and will lead me to where I need to be! I can't wait to see what the next weeks have in store for me and my faith!

Blessing in disguise

So I'm sure some of you are wondering why there was no post last week ( and even if you aren't I'm going to tell you 😋) Mary-Kate and I got to spend two wonderful (even though we didn't think so at first) days in Atlanta, Georgia. Here's the story.

Wednesday morning we got up bright and early to drive from Madison to Chicago to catch our flight. We boarded the plane in Chicago to Atlanta with no problems. We were all getting excited and the journey was becoming real to me. We arrived in Atlanta about an hour before our flight to Johannesburg, South Africa and that's when everything went awry.

Before boarding the plane we all had to show the attendants our passports so we all stood in line waiting. All of us were good to go except Mary- Kate. Apparently she didn't have enough Visa pages in her passport for South Africa to stamp so they wouldn't let her board the plane. They gave her a hotel voucher and re-booked her flight for the following day. We were all upset that she wouldn't be joining us. Maybe 5 minutes later  my name was called up to the front desk... Apparently South Africa created a new rule that if you are under 18 you need to be traveling with both your parents or have your birth certificate and a note from your parents saying it's okay for you to leave... I had neither so I couldn't get on the plane. Mary- Kate and I were very frustrated and had to book a new flight for Friday so my mom could have time to FedEx me my required documents. Thankfully Mary-Kate knew someone who lived in Atlanta and she was our saving grace.

We called Ellen, Mary-Kate's friend, but we got no answer. We decided we would stay at the hotel for the night and see if she would call us back. We got to the hotel and ordered some pizza after our long and stressful day. We heard back from Ellen, she was out of town but said her friend could pick us up tomorrow and that we could stay at her house. The following morning we woke up around 5:30 to go to the passport office which we were told opens up at 7. When we got to the office they informed us that they didn't open until 10.... What were we supposed to do for 3 hours? We decided to sit in the lobby area but the security guard was very adamant about us NOT sitting there. We waited outside until we could go in and long story short it was a about a 9 hour process.

Ellen's friend picked us up and took us to Walmart so we could buy some food and a change of clothes because neither of us packed any in our carry-ons. He was the sweetest man and offered to pay for us. He took us to Ellen's and made sure we had everything we needed. The following morning he brought us donughts, which were waiting outside our door. He picked us up that afternoon and took us to the airport .. What a wonderful man!

Even though we were both upset about being delayed two days, God knew we needed it. Leading up to the trip we were both so busy and never had a second to relax so He forced us to. The two days were so relaxing, just spending time together, just the two of us and getting a few extra days to prepare for what was happening... God is SO good! He knows what we need and gives it to us, even if it sets us back a couple of days. He blessed with wonderful hospitality and turned something seemingly horrible into a wonderful and much needed mini vaction.

Here goes nothing!

Here is my first attempt at a blog-bear with me..... I have no idea how this works or what I am really doing!

As many of you may know in one week, I am going to embark on a journey of a lifetime. I will be boarding a plane to Swaziland, Africa with Hosea's Heart. Hosea's Heart is a non-profit organization that works to empower the girls of Swaziland to achieve freedom from sexual abuse and a better future, for more information check out their website: http://hoseasheart.org/about/mission

I first learned about this organization during my freshmen year of high school (2011), when Mary-Kate Martin (Founder and Executive Director of Hosea's Heart) was my English teacher. She told our class many stories about her adventures in Africa-the good and the bad. My friend and I decided we wanted to do something to help these girls who were our age and experienced situations we could not even imagine! Long story short we came up with the idea to have a soccer tournament called “Kickin’ up Hope” to raise money for these girls, which we have had for the past four years. I told Mary-Kate freshmen year that the summer following my senior year, I would be joining her in Swaziland—and here I am! Words cannot describe how excited I am to see the girls I have been fundraising for the past four years!!
 

I will be gone for a month and this blog will tell all of you back home a little about my journey: the relationships I build, the lessons I learn, and the incredible experiences I will hold with me forever.